Are there some days when you feel as though everything is fantastic and other days when you feel so lonely you could cry? It's that deep inner loneliness that creeps up on me on rare occasions. I can be having the best time and then suddenly, BAM, the thought occurs to me that I may very well never fully share my life with another human soul. I realize that comparing my life with others is a bad thing and worse still to compare others Facebook lives with mine...... all those darn smiley pictures of people with their smiley spouses talking about how happy they are. Really makes me want to vomit sometimes...... when I am not wishing I had someone to smile with me like that.
Fact is that I don't. (Whole other story as to my singleness that I would never reveal here). But you know what? I have a lover who is better than any human soul could be. He perfectly understands me and cares for me in ways I have never known down here. I know in my heart that my Savior is the best partner I could ask for in this life and yet it doesn't feel adequate sometimes.
He has promised to be my all. It is a testament to how easily overcome I can be by the needs/feelings of needs in my earthly world instead of the eternal things that really matter. Because, if most people are honest, they are never truly understood on every level by their spouse (or that's what I tell myself at least). As a human being we cannot ever be truly and completely fulfilled by a relationship with anyone besides our Savior. For those that refuse Him they are truly lonely creatures indeed. I perish the thought of living a day without Christ. The earthly relationships we have here, be they dating, friendship or marriage, are just a shadow of the type of relationship we can have with Jesus. A poor imitation to be sure, they are fraught with dangers, heartache and even joy that cannot compare to the relationship our Savior wants with us. And so I pray....
Lord, fill me with the understanding that you truly know me. Help me see that what I crave down here (to be known and unconditionally loved) cannot really happen on earth. I cannot be known here by anyone. You alone have seen the depths of my heart, my every desire and accept me (through the blood of your son Jesus) as I am. Be sufficient for me and help me know it Lord. Amen.
Fact is that I don't. (Whole other story as to my singleness that I would never reveal here). But you know what? I have a lover who is better than any human soul could be. He perfectly understands me and cares for me in ways I have never known down here. I know in my heart that my Savior is the best partner I could ask for in this life and yet it doesn't feel adequate sometimes.
He has promised to be my all. It is a testament to how easily overcome I can be by the needs/feelings of needs in my earthly world instead of the eternal things that really matter. Because, if most people are honest, they are never truly understood on every level by their spouse (or that's what I tell myself at least). As a human being we cannot ever be truly and completely fulfilled by a relationship with anyone besides our Savior. For those that refuse Him they are truly lonely creatures indeed. I perish the thought of living a day without Christ. The earthly relationships we have here, be they dating, friendship or marriage, are just a shadow of the type of relationship we can have with Jesus. A poor imitation to be sure, they are fraught with dangers, heartache and even joy that cannot compare to the relationship our Savior wants with us. And so I pray....
Lord, fill me with the understanding that you truly know me. Help me see that what I crave down here (to be known and unconditionally loved) cannot really happen on earth. I cannot be known here by anyone. You alone have seen the depths of my heart, my every desire and accept me (through the blood of your son Jesus) as I am. Be sufficient for me and help me know it Lord. Amen.
Amazing. Simply Amazing. God bless you, sweet girl.
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