I have often wondered why certain people are taken from this earth at what seems like an incredibly wrong time. A young lady that I grew up going to junior high and high school with passed away February 2010. Her name was Rose. While we had been very close in junior high, we had drifted into different circles by the end of high school and I saw her only once since we had graduated. She was the "cool girl" in my mind, the one who was nice to EVERYONE (a feat I have never managed to accomplish) and just a joy to be around. She was a faithful follower of Christ and just seemed to pour her whole soul into whatever she did. I always admired her ability to put herself out there and love on people and be loved in return, for who could not love someone who was so kind? (Don't get me wrong, Rose was not perfect, but in my mind, as so often happens when we lose someone, she is what I wish I could be).
I didn't not hear about her death until later, but it coincided almost to the day that my marriage ended. That very same week, when Rose went to be with the Lord, my life unraveled. She was the person I couldn't wait to see at our high school reunion..... Her husband came in her stead and I can only begin to imagine what that must have felt like for him. It was a wake-up call.
When I realized what I had missed out on by not keeping in contact with her during that time I wept. Truly. Sobbed. It seemed so unfair. And then I proceeded to do the only thing I could do under the circumstances.....I vowed to live my life. Better. Fuller. Take Risks. Love. Get hurt. Trust. Just..... LIVE! I had grown up and lived so much of my life in fear of making mistakes, of not being loved, of mistrusting people because they would just hurt me. In all my efforts to avoid pain and errors, I created a life not worth living.
Why do I bring this up? Because too often we are afraid to truly live our lives. We are caught up in the expectations of others and not just living day-by-day to please the Lord. Sometimes trusting God requires a leap of faith.....sometimes it's a leap straight off a cliff into the unknown. It's terrifying! We want to plan, to control, to determine, and God wants us to trust. Trust him blindly and to follow as Abraham did, into whatever unknown land he will take us.
I don't want to live my life safely. I was to live radically, fully, with unwavering faith. I want people to know that they met God when they meet me. And I have a long way to go. But I am getting there. I take strides every day to make my life something that I will look back on, not with regret for a life un-lived, but with joy and sheer exhaustion from the race.
I didn't not hear about her death until later, but it coincided almost to the day that my marriage ended. That very same week, when Rose went to be with the Lord, my life unraveled. She was the person I couldn't wait to see at our high school reunion..... Her husband came in her stead and I can only begin to imagine what that must have felt like for him. It was a wake-up call.
When I realized what I had missed out on by not keeping in contact with her during that time I wept. Truly. Sobbed. It seemed so unfair. And then I proceeded to do the only thing I could do under the circumstances.....I vowed to live my life. Better. Fuller. Take Risks. Love. Get hurt. Trust. Just..... LIVE! I had grown up and lived so much of my life in fear of making mistakes, of not being loved, of mistrusting people because they would just hurt me. In all my efforts to avoid pain and errors, I created a life not worth living.
Why do I bring this up? Because too often we are afraid to truly live our lives. We are caught up in the expectations of others and not just living day-by-day to please the Lord. Sometimes trusting God requires a leap of faith.....sometimes it's a leap straight off a cliff into the unknown. It's terrifying! We want to plan, to control, to determine, and God wants us to trust. Trust him blindly and to follow as Abraham did, into whatever unknown land he will take us.
I don't want to live my life safely. I was to live radically, fully, with unwavering faith. I want people to know that they met God when they meet me. And I have a long way to go. But I am getting there. I take strides every day to make my life something that I will look back on, not with regret for a life un-lived, but with joy and sheer exhaustion from the race.
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