Let me start by saying as a child I HATED fundraisers for school. HATED. I disliked the idea of asking people for money even if they were "purchasing" something in return. Straight up aversion folks. Well....... walking around broadcasting that people need Jesus reminds me a little too much of a sales pitch by a greasy-haired car salesmen.... or those school fundraisers. Don't get me wrong, those Bible-thumpers really do convert people, but as you'll read it's just not my style.
I am not really a good example of an Evangelical Christian. I was recently asked what form of religion I practiced and..... I grimaced. A week before that I was asked "So are you religious or do you go to church 'just because'?" I grimaced and said, "Um, something in between."
I realize that it sounds horrible that I grimace when asked about my faith and it's not as though I am ashamed. I am not. I am not ashamed of my faith. I am ashamed, mostly, of being viewed as a Bible-thumping, street-corner-preaching "religious" type of person. Those people have always been nails-on-a-chalkboard-cringe-worthy to me.
As a person of faith I don't like being associated with people who are generally viewed by the world to be the ultimate in hypocrisy at worst and deceived little lemmings at best. I am neither of those. My faith is real. My faith is as essential to me as breathing. It cannot be quantified by religious stereotypes and so I hesitate to answer people directly when they ask about how I would define my faith. I am far more inclined to tell people to just get to know me as a person and let my actions speak of my faith to them. After all, how can you reduce down a faith that has literally saved you from certain death into some kind of platitude or alter call? It's so much more than that! I am the ultimate living testimony of how God can change a life that is destined for self-implosion.
And so I can't really put that into a quick sales pitch or "elevator pitch". I don't want to "con" people into believing in Jesus. I would much rather have folks take a look at my life and how I interact with the world and say, "Huh. She's different. Weird. Maybe not all Christians are psycho." Truly, that is the epitome of my goal as a Christian. I strive to make people question their assumptions about how "all" Christians are. Maybe it's that I care about them even though they are drinking, smoking, working at a porn store, trolling the internet for hook-ups, living with their partner of the same sex variety or stripping; maybe it's none of those things.
Perhaps it's because, for a period of about a decade, I lived out in the world apart from faith in Jesus. I remember vividly what I felt about Christians at that point in my life and no amount of preaching at me would have EVER changed my mind about how I was living. Seriously people, the letters, the "We're praying for you" comments, the looks of pity - made this girl want to wretch my guts out over their shiny church shoes. I ran from those people and I ran from God. I was one of those folks that had to hit the bottom of the pit before I realized my need for Jesus.
Those are the people for whom my heart aches. Those folks that have no idea that half the crap they have in their lives and the heartache would really go away if they just trusted in a God who was looking out for them. Who wouldn't want to believe that there was someone out there who really cared, would have their back and only gave them a set of rules so their would stop making a mess of their own lives? Seriously! It's a good deal. I have attempted to run my life on my own. Disaster. Following a few straightforward rules of someone who only EVER wants the best for me in exchange for my life not being a shit-hole (sorry for the language but it really was one)? Not so hard.
So I guess in a way I AM evangelical. It just doesn't look typical, because the truth is that the typical way just won't reach the demographic that I came out of. I don't want to covert people. I want to love them, show them something different, maybe make them question whether faith is such a crutch........ God alone can bring a person to the place of belief. I am just here to present a different face to what faith can look like.
I am not really a good example of an Evangelical Christian. I was recently asked what form of religion I practiced and..... I grimaced. A week before that I was asked "So are you religious or do you go to church 'just because'?" I grimaced and said, "Um, something in between."
I realize that it sounds horrible that I grimace when asked about my faith and it's not as though I am ashamed. I am not. I am not ashamed of my faith. I am ashamed, mostly, of being viewed as a Bible-thumping, street-corner-preaching "religious" type of person. Those people have always been nails-on-a-chalkboard-cringe-worthy to me.
As a person of faith I don't like being associated with people who are generally viewed by the world to be the ultimate in hypocrisy at worst and deceived little lemmings at best. I am neither of those. My faith is real. My faith is as essential to me as breathing. It cannot be quantified by religious stereotypes and so I hesitate to answer people directly when they ask about how I would define my faith. I am far more inclined to tell people to just get to know me as a person and let my actions speak of my faith to them. After all, how can you reduce down a faith that has literally saved you from certain death into some kind of platitude or alter call? It's so much more than that! I am the ultimate living testimony of how God can change a life that is destined for self-implosion.
And so I can't really put that into a quick sales pitch or "elevator pitch". I don't want to "con" people into believing in Jesus. I would much rather have folks take a look at my life and how I interact with the world and say, "Huh. She's different. Weird. Maybe not all Christians are psycho." Truly, that is the epitome of my goal as a Christian. I strive to make people question their assumptions about how "all" Christians are. Maybe it's that I care about them even though they are drinking, smoking, working at a porn store, trolling the internet for hook-ups, living with their partner of the same sex variety or stripping; maybe it's none of those things.
Perhaps it's because, for a period of about a decade, I lived out in the world apart from faith in Jesus. I remember vividly what I felt about Christians at that point in my life and no amount of preaching at me would have EVER changed my mind about how I was living. Seriously people, the letters, the "We're praying for you" comments, the looks of pity - made this girl want to wretch my guts out over their shiny church shoes. I ran from those people and I ran from God. I was one of those folks that had to hit the bottom of the pit before I realized my need for Jesus.
Those are the people for whom my heart aches. Those folks that have no idea that half the crap they have in their lives and the heartache would really go away if they just trusted in a God who was looking out for them. Who wouldn't want to believe that there was someone out there who really cared, would have their back and only gave them a set of rules so their would stop making a mess of their own lives? Seriously! It's a good deal. I have attempted to run my life on my own. Disaster. Following a few straightforward rules of someone who only EVER wants the best for me in exchange for my life not being a shit-hole (sorry for the language but it really was one)? Not so hard.
So I guess in a way I AM evangelical. It just doesn't look typical, because the truth is that the typical way just won't reach the demographic that I came out of. I don't want to covert people. I want to love them, show them something different, maybe make them question whether faith is such a crutch........ God alone can bring a person to the place of belief. I am just here to present a different face to what faith can look like.
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