I was raised by a perfectionist. While this left me with a great work ethic and great quality evaluative tools, it also left me with some challenges. I have a hard time not being critical of others they whose standards are less stringent than mine. I struggle to accept my limitations when they prevent me from achieving what I perceive to be my "best". Most critically I have been challenged in the area of accepting God's grace.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and claim that being a perfectionist is an individuals way of trying to earn salvation. I have watched many people struggle with this area, myself included, and I have seen time and again that perfectionists tend to be people who deal in absolutes, black and whites and by and large lean towards more legalistic strains of faith. It is hard for perfectionists to believe that their ways are not necessarily God's ways. People have a limited point of view and try to gain power by thinking themselves perfect. God is perfect. We know this, but sinful man's opinion of perfect and God's version of perfect are not the same.
The most unfortunate tendency that perfectionism shows is judgment. Nothing measures up. Nothing is good enough. Every act and decision, phrase and look, is analyzed against the perfectionist's standards and ultimately comes up lacking. The perfectionist thinks that by acting "perfect" they are pleasing to God in their attempt to be free of errors. God calls us to live as sinless a life as possible. Sinless doesn't mean perfect by human standards.
Another aspect of perfectionism are the roots it has in self-esteem. Those with low self-esteem often seek to be "perfect" in the eyes of others to gain favor. (Too bad it rarely works are most people don't like being around people who act above them). God has granted us innate value that is (thankfully) not subject to our behavior. Acceptance of this fact has brought great joy to me. I don't have to TRY to be of value. I AM valuable simply because God says so and loved me enough to sacrifice himself for me.
How can we accept grace if we constantly feel the need to "prove" ourselves? The acceptance of grace requires that we accept that we will never be good enough on our own. We will never be "perfect" enough, despite all our attempts and that our attempts at perfection are actually an AFFRONT to God's greatest gift to us. It's insulting! It's arrogant. It is the opposite of showing love to others. We don't show God's love by acting as though we are better than others (and let's face it, that's really what perfectionism is really all about). We are not truly accepting God's grace is we are still attempting to "earn" his favor. His favor is bestowed upon us and our responsibility is to accept it. That's it. The whole story! We don't seek to live less sinful lives because it gains us something but because we are GRATEFUL for the honor of God's grace. It is to be an act of gratitude.
I would challenge each of you to think about WHY you try not to sin. What is your true motivation? Is it the lack of self-esteem which you try to cover up with "perfect" behavior? If your reason for any action is a desire to "earn" or "prove" yourself, please think twice! Pray. Submit. Accept the grace for which our Lord suffered so dearly. Do not disregard the price Christ paid for you with attempts of perfection. I promise your life will be easier (not to mention a more effective witness). May the Holy Spirit work in us all to rid us daily of this hindrance to our walk and testimony.
I'm going to go out on a limb here and claim that being a perfectionist is an individuals way of trying to earn salvation. I have watched many people struggle with this area, myself included, and I have seen time and again that perfectionists tend to be people who deal in absolutes, black and whites and by and large lean towards more legalistic strains of faith. It is hard for perfectionists to believe that their ways are not necessarily God's ways. People have a limited point of view and try to gain power by thinking themselves perfect. God is perfect. We know this, but sinful man's opinion of perfect and God's version of perfect are not the same.
The most unfortunate tendency that perfectionism shows is judgment. Nothing measures up. Nothing is good enough. Every act and decision, phrase and look, is analyzed against the perfectionist's standards and ultimately comes up lacking. The perfectionist thinks that by acting "perfect" they are pleasing to God in their attempt to be free of errors. God calls us to live as sinless a life as possible. Sinless doesn't mean perfect by human standards.
Another aspect of perfectionism are the roots it has in self-esteem. Those with low self-esteem often seek to be "perfect" in the eyes of others to gain favor. (Too bad it rarely works are most people don't like being around people who act above them). God has granted us innate value that is (thankfully) not subject to our behavior. Acceptance of this fact has brought great joy to me. I don't have to TRY to be of value. I AM valuable simply because God says so and loved me enough to sacrifice himself for me.
How can we accept grace if we constantly feel the need to "prove" ourselves? The acceptance of grace requires that we accept that we will never be good enough on our own. We will never be "perfect" enough, despite all our attempts and that our attempts at perfection are actually an AFFRONT to God's greatest gift to us. It's insulting! It's arrogant. It is the opposite of showing love to others. We don't show God's love by acting as though we are better than others (and let's face it, that's really what perfectionism is really all about). We are not truly accepting God's grace is we are still attempting to "earn" his favor. His favor is bestowed upon us and our responsibility is to accept it. That's it. The whole story! We don't seek to live less sinful lives because it gains us something but because we are GRATEFUL for the honor of God's grace. It is to be an act of gratitude.
I would challenge each of you to think about WHY you try not to sin. What is your true motivation? Is it the lack of self-esteem which you try to cover up with "perfect" behavior? If your reason for any action is a desire to "earn" or "prove" yourself, please think twice! Pray. Submit. Accept the grace for which our Lord suffered so dearly. Do not disregard the price Christ paid for you with attempts of perfection. I promise your life will be easier (not to mention a more effective witness). May the Holy Spirit work in us all to rid us daily of this hindrance to our walk and testimony.
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