I have been hurt by the church. I have felt the greatest ripping apart of my soul and utter desolation inflicted by members of the body of Christ. I have received hate mail, calls of judgment and countless thoughtless comments by those who profess to be the embodiment of Christ's love on earth. And yet.....
I attend church almost every week (barring illness). I have found my home in the family of God, and still I am on the outskirts of that family. Even while attending and feeling encouraged I have yet to make true friends in the church I have attended for the past two plus years. Everyone is too busy, too involved with their own lives, too set in their own ways to fully embrace a individual. And I say individual because I AM one. I am ONE. I am not a couple, I am a single mother who doesn't fit the stereotypical pattern. I am welcomed but alone. And I absolutely ADORE my church! It is a paradox that I feel cannot be easily explained.
Each Sunday I am inspired to be better, more authentic, more passionate. I have fought my way back into the church after almost of decade of separation from those I considered the most judgmental, hateful people on the planet. I will not let mere sinful individuals take the wonder of worship and service away from me. By letting my experience with others at the church dominate my mind I was the one who missed out. I suffered.
Too often we let what others have done in the name of Christ taint our own faith. Too many times I have drifted from God merely to distance myself from the hypocrisy and "evil" I have seen from other Christians. In no way do I desire to be a Christian who is "too busy" to be there for people, or too "legalistic" to show true love, or too "constrained" to really worship in church. I will be the follower of Christ HE called me to be. Take me or leave me, but I will be there for you.
I attend church almost every week (barring illness). I have found my home in the family of God, and still I am on the outskirts of that family. Even while attending and feeling encouraged I have yet to make true friends in the church I have attended for the past two plus years. Everyone is too busy, too involved with their own lives, too set in their own ways to fully embrace a individual. And I say individual because I AM one. I am ONE. I am not a couple, I am a single mother who doesn't fit the stereotypical pattern. I am welcomed but alone. And I absolutely ADORE my church! It is a paradox that I feel cannot be easily explained.
Each Sunday I am inspired to be better, more authentic, more passionate. I have fought my way back into the church after almost of decade of separation from those I considered the most judgmental, hateful people on the planet. I will not let mere sinful individuals take the wonder of worship and service away from me. By letting my experience with others at the church dominate my mind I was the one who missed out. I suffered.
Too often we let what others have done in the name of Christ taint our own faith. Too many times I have drifted from God merely to distance myself from the hypocrisy and "evil" I have seen from other Christians. In no way do I desire to be a Christian who is "too busy" to be there for people, or too "legalistic" to show true love, or too "constrained" to really worship in church. I will be the follower of Christ HE called me to be. Take me or leave me, but I will be there for you.
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