Worry is a tricky thing. I have come from a long line of worriers, classical trained and developed over generations to perfect the correct amount of over-reactive worrying. I have spent the better part of my adult life attempting to ferret out the real things that are worth worrying about from the things I can let go....whether I have a corsage for Mother's Day at church (I HATE corsages!) or whether I look "Christian" enough to my fellow worshipers (what does that mean?) or even whether I take a store-bought versus homemade offering to the family potluck (oh the horror!)
So often it is easy to worry about the superficial things and yet, when something comes along for which worrying is truly warranted how do we respond? How ARE we to respond? I have worried over a great many inane things. Today my mind, I will readily admit, was fraught with worry over a health condition. I have rheumatoid arthritis. It is spreading. Rapidly, by my count. I started last week on a cancer treatment drug to potentially save my disease ravaged joints from destruction. The Lord tells me not to worry. This is hard. I WANT to worry, but it doesn't help. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. That helps a little. The most beneficial thing for me when I start to worry is to think about others. This may be trite, but in the midst of my pain and fear of my imminent demise (see the worrying coming out?) I count my blessings.
I have a family that is crazy to the bone and they love me tremendously. I have close friends who check in on me. I have two beautiful girls who are proud that I am their mother. I have a job and can pay my bills. I have clean water. I get to sleep in a bed (this one ALWAYS makes my list - I have done without). I have the opportunity to even SEEK medical treatment, let alone pay for it! And somewhere I hope there is someone in whose life I will have brought a glimmer of hope or joy or something positive so that when Jesus calls me home, in whatever form my body may be in, I can rest in him knowing that I had not failed my greatest goal.......to love with all I have in me, to live passionately in everything and, above all, to shine.
So often it is easy to worry about the superficial things and yet, when something comes along for which worrying is truly warranted how do we respond? How ARE we to respond? I have worried over a great many inane things. Today my mind, I will readily admit, was fraught with worry over a health condition. I have rheumatoid arthritis. It is spreading. Rapidly, by my count. I started last week on a cancer treatment drug to potentially save my disease ravaged joints from destruction. The Lord tells me not to worry. This is hard. I WANT to worry, but it doesn't help. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. That helps a little. The most beneficial thing for me when I start to worry is to think about others. This may be trite, but in the midst of my pain and fear of my imminent demise (see the worrying coming out?) I count my blessings.
I have a family that is crazy to the bone and they love me tremendously. I have close friends who check in on me. I have two beautiful girls who are proud that I am their mother. I have a job and can pay my bills. I have clean water. I get to sleep in a bed (this one ALWAYS makes my list - I have done without). I have the opportunity to even SEEK medical treatment, let alone pay for it! And somewhere I hope there is someone in whose life I will have brought a glimmer of hope or joy or something positive so that when Jesus calls me home, in whatever form my body may be in, I can rest in him knowing that I had not failed my greatest goal.......to love with all I have in me, to live passionately in everything and, above all, to shine.
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